M*ch$g#n

I apologize to my dearest fans that it has been seen long since I could pleasure you all in a manner similar to chocolate.

I write today to discuss plans to deal with that terrible, terrible state up north. (Warning: This post will include at least one inside joke, which I think can be explained pretty decently, and I will attempt to allow others to understand.)

A review of what the state of Michigan has accomplished:
1. The Auto Industry - Detroit is done for. I've analyzed this in this post where I say LBJ needs to run the auto industry. Millions of jobs and money lost, adios stupid state that looks like a hand!

2. The University of TSUN - There are obvious reasons that I, an alumni of tOSU, would dislike the maize and blue. But, considering I just found out this guy got a degree from that terrible school, they're even further down the poop list (cursing, remember?).

3. This is their recovery plan. The auto industry fails, so they suddenly have an artistic side? This might be one of the dumbest ideas I've ever heard. That's like if Lebron James leaves for the NY Knicks (which is NOT happening, btw) the Cavs say, don't worry, we're signing Allen "Practice?" Iverson. Fact: Titanic is the only movie to have ever made $1 Billion. Fact: The car companies were just bailed out with billions and billions of dollars, and it didn't work! How on earth does this compare?

4. They didn't mow their poop (originally was the bad word). Seriously, last summer I was driving in that state (cheapest option for a flight) and their stuff was not mowed. It was not neatly trimmed, it was full-out, and it angered me. And I was mildly intoxicated (Alex was driving, no worries) so I started yelling about it. Do I regret it? Absolutely not.

My solution: Close the entire state. Keep it an American territory (we can't let the Canucks succeed with it) but move everyone out. Who knows what they'll do, but I expect a significant recovery to our country in EVERY SINGLE FACET because that state no longer exists.

Tonight's competition: What president played football at that terrible, terrible excuse of a university?

Spread this blog like the people of M*ch$g#n will be dispersed after my plan goes into effect!

Comment your solutions for the state!